Birthday party, Gym Style

So when FiFo turns seven...in seven months...I am planning to throw her a gymnastics party. Her gym does parties and all that jazz, so we'll likely do it there.

Even though it is so far in advance it's laughable, I got inspired to start some initial planning this evening. Because I am a huge fan of cake, I decided to start there. I found some decent little designs - sheet cakes with pudgy, cartoonish gymnasts emblazoned across the front, cherubic plastic figurines with bad form, and even one that looks like white Shrek. What I really want is one of those fierce Ace of Cakes creations, but since it's likely not in the old budget, I'm trying to find a happy medium.

What I discovered, instead, is that if I DO decide to order a custom cake, I'm going to have a few strict guidelines. Those same guidelines will apply to the decor and accessories, as well.

1.) The gymnast(s) being depicted MUST point their toes. The number of professional cakes I came across with flexed-footed gymnasts depicted in ugly positions made me cringe. If you're going to do it, do it right, assholes!

2.) My gymnast will not appear to be riding a surfboard.

3.) Female cake gymnasts will not compete on the rings or the flying trapeze.

4.) I want this image made into a cake for MY next birthday. I'll be 29 in January, so start saving your pennies, folks.

5.) I will not allow my cake gymnast to mount the beam using steps. Can we get a sister a springboard?

6.) Cake gymnast will not compete in the new fusion event: Balance Bar.


Is it too much to ask that the bakers do a little research? Maybe I'm just too emotionally involved. My first clue was when I found myself cringing at the cake-and-plastic gymnasts' form errors.

Whatevs. I did find some cute cakes, but they need some tweaks. I like this one - it just needs more toe point and less crotch width. Though I bet she has a lovely swing down...Also, everyone knows that their numbers go on their BACKS. Ask Hollie Vise. Ooh, that's what I want - a 3-dimensional figure in a needle scale on beam. That would be EPIC.