Let's do this, bitches.

8:00 - Let's see who we have tonight...it sounds like people don't yet realize their mics are on...come on, somebody PLEASE say something damning...PLEASE...

Nada. Nothin'. Shoot.

AND Nastia fluff...narrated by Trautwig! The Terrible Trio is back!

Nastia has toned her pouf down, but it looks like Sam got herself one of those BumpIts and told it to do its worst.

Now we're verbally licking Valeri's balls...when Elfi says "Valeri Liukin," it sounds like a dirt tongue bath.

Chellsie on beam - she looks solid. 14.1

Bridget on bars. Little shaky on a few of her handstands, but she rocked both release skills, and her double layout dismount. 14.9 - very nice. She wants AA, hard core.

Al makes a bad joke. Ahem.

Jana Bieger on bars. She didn't fall, so there's that. Her form sucks and her handstands are bad. That is all. 14.5

Ivana Hong on bars. She and her beautiful form look great - even her dismount is good, with a near flawless stick. Good for her. 14.6

Rebecca Bross on bars. Abusing the chalk, probably to calm her nerves. I do this to my pool cue when I have a tough shot coming up. And she is OFF the bar. She almost peeled off the high bar after her jaeger, but then she fell on her Pak Salto. Nailed the landing. Bless her heart, and I mean that. 13.35. Fucking ouch.

Tim Dagget is making a bad joke about how she should have done only four routines in warm ups instead of five. Bite me, Tim.

Kytra Hunter on floor. Almost OOB on her DLO, but she saved it. Nailed the landing on her last pass, after hopping on the first three. It was good. Not phenomenal - but good. It was either a 14.25 or 14.5 - I missed it.

Ew - it's a break, and Al and Elfi sound like they're talking dirty to each other. That is FOUL, people.

8:25 - Second rotation. They didn't show Kayla Williams on the floor, but I saw her a bit during the break, while Elfi and Al were caressing each other, and as bored as I am with her, I will give her props for consistency. She always hits.

The Trio keep talking during breaks, and I'm DESPERATE For one of them to say something inappropriate. Elfi is now humming along with Lady Gaga's "Just Dance." That is so incredibly disturbing.

Even in Ivana's little mini-warm up on the floor by the beam, her form is impeccable. I love that about her.

8:32 - Andrea Joyce is interviewing Shawn Johnson. Wonder what AJ will say to Shawn to make her feel like a piece of shit? That is, in fact, her forte.

Sam Peszek on beam. What is she hiding in that pouf? She looks solid as a friggin' rock. She hit every element, and even smiled a little. Great double pike dismount. She's awesome. 15.1

Elfi is complaining during the break about how dry the room is because of the chalk. Elfi ALMOST said something negative about Jana on beam during the break, but she held back. She said, "She's just..." Then at the end, she said, "Well, she had a better - sorry." They didn't show Jana - this was during the break. 14.3 for her on beam.

8:39 - Kytra Hunter on vault. I missed it. Sorry. 15.0

Nastia on beam. She still looks a tad nervous, but it's FAR better tongiht than on Thursday. Nice landing with a small step, but no bobbles. Good on her. 14.7

Mackenzie Caquatto on vault. Nice DTY, good form, nice landing.

Ivana Hong on beam. Several little tiny balance checks, but a great routine with a solid dismount. 15.2. Nice.

Rebecca Bross on beam. Her medal position is slipping through her fingers. She had several balance checks, one which was big and nearly sent her to the floor, and almost dropped the dismount landing again. Not great - not great at all. Her face says it all. 14.7

I need more wine.

The Trio is talking about what an agonizing wait this is (during the break), and Elfi and Tim agreed that for someone they failed to name, this is "impossible." Ouch. Ivana, the current leader, is hugging Bross. I think that's nice. Ivana has a heart.

8:57 - Bridget on beam. It was conservative, but she stayed on, and she pretty much hit. Her form was beautiful in her double pike dismount. Nicely done. 14.9

Third rotation. Unless Ivana falls on her vault or blows her floor and Bridget nails both, the title is hers. She's ahead by half a point. This is truthfully a really good meet. Lots of tension - I love it.

9:04 - Andrea Joyce is interviewing Alicia Sacramone. PUNCH HER, ALICIA! After what she did to you following the team final in Beijing, you deserve this chance! DECK THAT HOE!!!

Oh, look - another break.

9:10 - Ivana Hong on floor. She did exactly what she needed to do - she hit, stayed in bounds and on her feet, and no more. It was very nice.

Kytra Hunter on bars. She was fine. And really, that's all. No falls, no disasters. Nothing special.

FUCK. I accidentally hit "refresh." DAMN IT!!!

I got it back - in the middle of Bross' floor routine. Well, what I saw looked really nice. Smells like a little redemption, anyway. 14.7

Another break...Brooke Parker is on floor. They have not shown a single routine of hers during the live coverage. They're probably afraid she'll forget where she is and wander off the podium. She is the only person I've ever heard whose voice is more grating than Keri Strug's.

Bridget on floor - need a 14.5 or better to pass Ivana. She looked FANTASTIC. I'm blown away. There was one screenshot where she was in the corner, preparing for a pass, and Ivana and Rebecca were right behind her, looking on. Wish I'd grabbed it. 15.05!!!

Bridget is in the lead! By over half a point! Bridget might be National Champ! Hit the vault! HIT THE VAULT!!!!!

Sam on floor. She looks mostly good, though not as good as on night one. She went OOB on her last pass. She's not really here to for the big wins, though - she's here as a stop on the way to Worlds.

Final rotation. Ivana and Bridget have the same vault, a DTY. If they both hit, Bridget should still win. It's her title to lose.

I just noticed that Jana is still there. Why?

Andrea Joyce in interviewing Nastia. I wonder if AJ will grab her by the ponytail and ram her face into her knee repeatedly?

Oh, look - a break. I'm stunned.

Al just said, "I can't say the gymnastics has been AWESOME, but..." LOL

9:40 - Ivana Hong on vault. BEAUTIFUL. She nailed it - landing and all, almost a perfect stick. She and Bridget are hugging enthusiastically. 15.25

Tim just called Bross "Rebecca Sloan."

Rebecca Bross on vault. She absolutely NAILED IT. She did not budge on the landing. She looked great. 15.3. WOW.

Bridget needs a 14.7 or better to win. She got a 14.9 on night one. She CAN do this.

Bridget Sloan on vault. (breathe, Jen, breathe...) Tiny hop on the landing, beautiful vault, and the score is...(I didn't realize how badly I wanted this for her until right now)...IT'S A 15.0!!! BRIDGET WON!!!!!!!!



BRIDGET SLOAN IS THE 2009 NATIONAL CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Mackenzie Caquatto on beam (this is so anticlimactic). She looked good...until she fell of the beam. Ouch. She needs a few years, but she's adorable.

After the break, Andrea Joyce is going to batter and abuse Bridget Sloan.

AJ hates to let people finish their sentences. I hate her.