I knew it before I even set the DVR. I knew, and I did it anyway. I'm a damned fool.
The Progressive Skating & Gymnastics Spectacular was boring last year. This time, it was painful. Crimes were committed. CRIMES, I SAY!
(Disclaimer: I admit, I fast forwarded through the skating. I just really don't like it. So there you go.)
First and foremost, let me say this: Ashley Tisdale has a very good singing voice. She's a pretty good performer. I like her alright. That said, I do not want to watch her when there is tumbling going on. So stop spending so much time on her glittery eyeshadow and give me more gymnastics!
Secondly, Courtney Kupets was GROSSLY underutilized. Shawn, too. I actually felt offended. There were so many routines with the guys - and the fucking parallel bars - that there was no time left for the girls to do anything but play second fiddle. Third, if you count their screen time compared to Sharpay's.
Furthermore - WTF, Nastia? I know you're out of training. I do not expect you to throw a two and a half twist or a double back. But I was hoping for...well, not a back handspring series. Preceded by walking around and emoting. Followed by more walking around and emoting, and then traveling via figure skater. And then touching the high bar support. And completing a leap OFF the beam. Can a sister get a handstand, or a walkover, or a leap ON the beam? No? Just a climb up there and jump off? Alright. Fine. Hey, I know - go hang on to some figure skaters again. You know - give the audience what they came for.
At least in her brief moment of glory, Kupets tumbled a little on the beam. Nastia looked like she forgot to take the coat hanger out of her top. Whoever (whomever?) "choreographed" for her should be beaten with a rhythmic club.
The highlight would have been Shawn's routine with the Hamms had we gotten to see the whole thing. Instead we memorized Sharpay's pore pattern and watched silhouettes of Johnsons and Hamms tumble on a poorly lit floor. I have to say, as I have agreed with others on the IG forums - Shawn's dancing is looking really great. I think she could WORK a more mature floor routine if she came back. I never, ever thought of Shawn as awkward, but compared to her fluidity and grace post DWTS, she was downright clunky. She's grown up quite a bit, but not in a bad way.
Now get your ASS back in the gym full time, Johnson!
I also somewhat enjoyed the men's first go (of many) on the PB. The choreographed bit at the end with all of them on the bars was really well done. And I was glad Horton did his thang on the HB, too.
Like I said - I knew it before I set the DVR. But man, these things suck ass. The awkward "Wow, I'm so impressed with the other sport's athletes!" interviews with the cast make me cringe. The lame attempts at cultural relevance by mixing in songs like "Single Ladies" and "Boom Boom Pow" (yeah - I did see part of that routine. OUCH.) hurt my soul.
Never again. I am done with these crapfests. Until the next one, anyway. Think they'll get Demi Lovato to perform for that one? I can't wait to see what she's wearing. And have it burned into my retinas.
Showing posts with label shawn johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shawn johnson. Show all posts
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Fiercest Bitchfaces
I love a good bitch face. Nothing finishes off a bar set or a floor routine like a good old fashioned "I will effing cut your ass" look tossed at the competition. Rather than mock the look of death, we instead use this time to embrace - nay, to celebrate - Ultimate Bitch Faces in Gymnastics.
Elena Produnova
She shaved. A section. Of her EYEBROW. She is scary, and hard, and I love it. And that's where her Bitchface truly becomes her own - it's meant to inspire fear. Excellent.
"What now, hoes? WHAT NOW!? YOU WANT A PIECE?"
"My eyebrow, you say? I buried it with the body of the last little pixie who thought she had a more solid beam routine than me."
Svetlana Boguinskaya
Boguinskaya scared the crap out of me before I understood the loveliness of her gymnastics. I was convinced that she was going to pick up Shannon Miller or Kerri Strug or some equally tiny gymnast and just eat her if she got in the way. Her Bitchface always carried an intensity. She seemed to look right through people, uninterested and in no mood to eff around. It's truly a thing of beauty.
"What it matters? Competition no can start until I am ready to go! Judges salute to ME!"
Svetlana Khorkina
The strength of Khorkina's Bitchface lies in her originality. Sveta uses her face to express any and every emotion - joy, contempt, disbelief, anger, pride, etc. No one used their face to full effect the way Khorkina did.
"Bullsheet. I von. Who zee hell is Carla Pattinson?"
"Fall off zee bars? Quveen Sveta does not fall off zee bars! Quveen Zveta is zee uneven bars...vell...QUVEEN!"
Nastia Liukin
I actually feel like Nastia is probably a really nice chick. But if looks could kill - even unintentionally - there'd be no one left for her to compete against. Where Nastia stands apart from her competition is in sheer variety. There are too many FANTASMAGORIC shots of her impeccable Bitchface to choose only one. So I didn't.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me. Bitch is SO getting sliced tonight..."
"Bring it, Tweddle."
"Of COURSE the silver medal is an honor! Why would the silver medal be anything but a FUCKING honor? Shawn is a delight. We're all SO glad to have her as a senior. Right, Chells? Right?"
Chellsie: "Mmmm-hmm..."
"Just remember who won the All Around, 'kay, short shit?"
Elena Produnova
She shaved. A section. Of her EYEBROW. She is scary, and hard, and I love it. And that's where her Bitchface truly becomes her own - it's meant to inspire fear. Excellent.
"What now, hoes? WHAT NOW!? YOU WANT A PIECE?"
"My eyebrow, you say? I buried it with the body of the last little pixie who thought she had a more solid beam routine than me."
Svetlana Boguinskaya
Boguinskaya scared the crap out of me before I understood the loveliness of her gymnastics. I was convinced that she was going to pick up Shannon Miller or Kerri Strug or some equally tiny gymnast and just eat her if she got in the way. Her Bitchface always carried an intensity. She seemed to look right through people, uninterested and in no mood to eff around. It's truly a thing of beauty.
"What it matters? Competition no can start until I am ready to go! Judges salute to ME!"
Svetlana Khorkina
The strength of Khorkina's Bitchface lies in her originality. Sveta uses her face to express any and every emotion - joy, contempt, disbelief, anger, pride, etc. No one used their face to full effect the way Khorkina did.
"Bullsheet. I von. Who zee hell is Carla Pattinson?"
"Fall off zee bars? Quveen Sveta does not fall off zee bars! Quveen Zveta is zee uneven bars...vell...QUVEEN!"
Nastia Liukin
I actually feel like Nastia is probably a really nice chick. But if looks could kill - even unintentionally - there'd be no one left for her to compete against. Where Nastia stands apart from her competition is in sheer variety. There are too many FANTASMAGORIC shots of her impeccable Bitchface to choose only one. So I didn't.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me. Bitch is SO getting sliced tonight..."
"Bring it, Tweddle."
"Of COURSE the silver medal is an honor! Why would the silver medal be anything but a FUCKING honor? Shawn is a delight. We're all SO glad to have her as a senior. Right, Chells? Right?"
Chellsie: "Mmmm-hmm..."
"Just remember who won the All Around, 'kay, short shit?"
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Gym Gems
Or, "10 Things I Love About You."
These are the things that make gymnastics such a magical experience for me as a viewer. Sometimes, it's all in the details.
1.) Thoroughly, and consistently, pointed toes. Especially during release moves.
There is nothing that kills a great bars routine for me - other than an ugly fall - like flexed feet. But even if the gymnast does a decent job most of the time but flexes in a release move, the spell is broken for me. The aesthetics have been marred. If I were a judge, I would probably kill routines on lousy toe point.
I'm supposed to be listing the things I love, and I've veered off into annoyances. That's another post for another day. Anywho...I love pointy toes.
2.) A few months ago on IG, someone mentioned that they hated squeaky uneven bars. I kind of love them.
I love the satisfying creak as a gymnast builds up power or transitions. I love the slap of their hands grabbing the bar after a transition from low to high. I love the "thud" on the beam during a full-length tumbling pass. I love landings that look light but sound finished. I want to see a cloud of chalk dust billow up in a slow-mo replay of a great pass on floor or a vault that's stuck cold.
I just get so much satisfaction from the sensation of the equipment doing its part. It's gritty. It has texture. It lets the blood, sweat and tears of training trickle into the aesthetic perfection of a finished product.
I can't find a good example of the creaky bars, but if someone has one, please let me know!
3.) Beam passes with four connected elements.
I get that these might not be especially valuable anymore, or might post more risk than they're worth, but I really love a tumbling pass on beam that has the viewer wondering if the gymnast has enough room. It gets me every time.
4.) Floor routines that are choreographed to the music - not just the code.
I hate how the music on floor has really become just background noise. Routines rarely seem to have been designed with the music in mind, and that's a real shame. Dancers could never get away with this, and I hate that, as long as they can throw a few big skills, gymnasts can. It should be a true performance, not a labored instance of going through the motions. A floor routine should ALWAYS be very "Look at me!" And if the music is treated as a simple accessory, that idea is really lost.
I was never a massive Moceanu fan, but her floor routine in '96 was perfect for her. It suited her personality, her skill level and it all WORKED. Everything about it was a performance. Even for those who prefer a more classical floor set, it's hard to argue that her routine didn't match the music.
Khorkina is another one who really, genuinely knew how to perform, and every routine was a chance to play to the crowd. Her floor routines were always carefully crafted. Lilia, too. She was magical on floor, partly because her routines respected the music.
Wow. I could keep going on this one, because I think if we get back into the eighties and seventies, I'll just keep naming people with great floor routines.
5.) Beam shoes.
Like most gymnasts, I probably wouldn't use them, either, but I loved how they looked when they were common.
6.) Big old heavily secured grips.
I love it. It's such a contrast to the sleek, refined look of gymnastics. It reminds us that this is, in fact, a SPORT, and there is necessary equipment. They make it seem like the gymnast is READY. Like she's prepared her mind and body and she's GOT this. I just love it.
7.) Chalk and spray bottles.
When I see gymnasts chalking up, I always want to, too. I love the smell of chalk, and the way it bursts into the air and fills the space. Chalk is amazing.
8.) Effortlessly stuck landings.
There's nothing more satisfying than a dismount that flies followed by an easy, (mostly) chest-up landing. Even a mediocre routine seems somewhat sensational when the landing owns. But a stellar routine loses something when the landing is not perfect.
9.) Oversplits and hyper-extended knees.
I love Nastia Liukin's legs (mind out of the gutter, folks), and I know it bothers a lot of people how they almost look like they bow forward, but I LOVE it. I love the tension in a slight hyperextension. And I love a split that goes above and beyond the call of duty. It looks like true commitment to me. This is likely why I've always liked Nastia so much - she has the aesthetic qualities I love.
10.) Elegant hands.
I love balletic hand positions. I hate awkward monster fingers. Hands should look soft on beam and floor, and always in saluting the judges. Basically I appreciate it when a gymnast remembers that she HAS hands and feet and opts to do something with them rather than leave them by the wayside as she chucks another ugly ass skill.
These are the things that make gymnastics such a magical experience for me as a viewer. Sometimes, it's all in the details.
1.) Thoroughly, and consistently, pointed toes. Especially during release moves.
There is nothing that kills a great bars routine for me - other than an ugly fall - like flexed feet. But even if the gymnast does a decent job most of the time but flexes in a release move, the spell is broken for me. The aesthetics have been marred. If I were a judge, I would probably kill routines on lousy toe point.
I'm supposed to be listing the things I love, and I've veered off into annoyances. That's another post for another day. Anywho...I love pointy toes.
2.) A few months ago on IG, someone mentioned that they hated squeaky uneven bars. I kind of love them.
I love the satisfying creak as a gymnast builds up power or transitions. I love the slap of their hands grabbing the bar after a transition from low to high. I love the "thud" on the beam during a full-length tumbling pass. I love landings that look light but sound finished. I want to see a cloud of chalk dust billow up in a slow-mo replay of a great pass on floor or a vault that's stuck cold.
I just get so much satisfaction from the sensation of the equipment doing its part. It's gritty. It has texture. It lets the blood, sweat and tears of training trickle into the aesthetic perfection of a finished product.
I can't find a good example of the creaky bars, but if someone has one, please let me know!
3.) Beam passes with four connected elements.
I get that these might not be especially valuable anymore, or might post more risk than they're worth, but I really love a tumbling pass on beam that has the viewer wondering if the gymnast has enough room. It gets me every time.
4.) Floor routines that are choreographed to the music - not just the code.
I hate how the music on floor has really become just background noise. Routines rarely seem to have been designed with the music in mind, and that's a real shame. Dancers could never get away with this, and I hate that, as long as they can throw a few big skills, gymnasts can. It should be a true performance, not a labored instance of going through the motions. A floor routine should ALWAYS be very "Look at me!" And if the music is treated as a simple accessory, that idea is really lost.
I was never a massive Moceanu fan, but her floor routine in '96 was perfect for her. It suited her personality, her skill level and it all WORKED. Everything about it was a performance. Even for those who prefer a more classical floor set, it's hard to argue that her routine didn't match the music.
Khorkina is another one who really, genuinely knew how to perform, and every routine was a chance to play to the crowd. Her floor routines were always carefully crafted. Lilia, too. She was magical on floor, partly because her routines respected the music.
Wow. I could keep going on this one, because I think if we get back into the eighties and seventies, I'll just keep naming people with great floor routines.
5.) Beam shoes.
Like most gymnasts, I probably wouldn't use them, either, but I loved how they looked when they were common.
6.) Big old heavily secured grips.
I love it. It's such a contrast to the sleek, refined look of gymnastics. It reminds us that this is, in fact, a SPORT, and there is necessary equipment. They make it seem like the gymnast is READY. Like she's prepared her mind and body and she's GOT this. I just love it.
7.) Chalk and spray bottles.
When I see gymnasts chalking up, I always want to, too. I love the smell of chalk, and the way it bursts into the air and fills the space. Chalk is amazing.
8.) Effortlessly stuck landings.
There's nothing more satisfying than a dismount that flies followed by an easy, (mostly) chest-up landing. Even a mediocre routine seems somewhat sensational when the landing owns. But a stellar routine loses something when the landing is not perfect.
9.) Oversplits and hyper-extended knees.
I love Nastia Liukin's legs (mind out of the gutter, folks), and I know it bothers a lot of people how they almost look like they bow forward, but I LOVE it. I love the tension in a slight hyperextension. And I love a split that goes above and beyond the call of duty. It looks like true commitment to me. This is likely why I've always liked Nastia so much - she has the aesthetic qualities I love.
10.) Elegant hands.
I love balletic hand positions. I hate awkward monster fingers. Hands should look soft on beam and floor, and always in saluting the judges. Basically I appreciate it when a gymnast remembers that she HAS hands and feet and opts to do something with them rather than leave them by the wayside as she chucks another ugly ass skill.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Skating and Gymnastics Spectacular
So I guess they're doing another one of these things. I wonder who they'll get to sing? I know of a few American Idol rejects who would love the opportunity. But then, those names might be a little too big.
Sorry. I'm an ass.
Anyway. I don't care much about the skating, unless someone is being throw in the air The Cutting Edge style. That movie made my adolescent self long for my own washed up hockey player to taunt with my toepick.
But as for gymnastics, I'm in. The website is here, and it is uber-professional. Gymnasts like Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson (we're still calling her a gymnast, right?), Sam Peszek and Courtney "Kupet" will be performing. Yeah...it might not be a bad idea for them to hire a copy editor for their site. Jussayin'. It's being sponsored by Progressive Insurance. Maybe they ought to turn it over to Geico - they don't play around with their marketing.
Anyway, it's going to air January 10th. The live show is today, according to the crappy website. They've been rehearsing for like, a week, so I'm sure it will be truly "spectacular." Is Sam Peszek really healed enough to do this? They better not let her hurt herself, or Mama FiFo will cut someone.
Sorry. I'm an ass.
Anyway. I don't care much about the skating, unless someone is being throw in the air The Cutting Edge style. That movie made my adolescent self long for my own washed up hockey player to taunt with my toepick.
But as for gymnastics, I'm in. The website is here, and it is uber-professional. Gymnasts like Nastia Liukin, Shawn Johnson (we're still calling her a gymnast, right?), Sam Peszek and Courtney "Kupet" will be performing. Yeah...it might not be a bad idea for them to hire a copy editor for their site. Jussayin'. It's being sponsored by Progressive Insurance. Maybe they ought to turn it over to Geico - they don't play around with their marketing.
Anyway, it's going to air January 10th. The live show is today, according to the crappy website. They've been rehearsing for like, a week, so I'm sure it will be truly "spectacular." Is Sam Peszek really healed enough to do this? They better not let her hurt herself, or Mama FiFo will cut someone.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
What in the hell did they do to her face?
Shawn Johnson appears...sort of...on the cover of the Fall 2009 edition of GIRL magazine. It's sort of a cartoonish, heavily photoshopped version of her, with quasi-anime eyes and more face paint than a circus clown. Which is unnecessary, because Shawn is adorable. And it's GIRL magazine - not Hookers Weekly. But I digress.
As usual, Shawn talks at length about DWTS. She also talks about what a craptastic gymnast she used to be, and Beijing, and positive attitudes and blah blah blah. Read the article here.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Shannon Miller has her baby
Well, folks, it finally happened. The most Tweeted about kid in history (this family loves their records) has made his appearance, and Shannon waited less than four hours to make sure it was announced to the world.
So my favorite gymnast in the history of gymnasts is a bit of an attention whore. It's her thing, and I love her for her minor form of crazy. She probably had Inside Gymnastics on speed dial. Hell, she probably had one of their crack reporters in the room, holding up a leg and asking her about the evils of carbohydrates.
And I'll bet when Shawn Johnson has a baby some day, it'll be an even quicker announcement. I actually see a pre-choreographed dance number, jazz hands, top hat and Mark Ballas included.
Back to Shannon. Little John Rocco ('s Modern Life)* Falconetti was born at 6:46pm on Wednesday, October 28th, weighing in at a healthy 7 lbs., 11oz.
Congratulations!
*If you get that reference, you get a gold star.
So my favorite gymnast in the history of gymnasts is a bit of an attention whore. It's her thing, and I love her for her minor form of crazy. She probably had Inside Gymnastics on speed dial. Hell, she probably had one of their crack reporters in the room, holding up a leg and asking her about the evils of carbohydrates.
And I'll bet when Shawn Johnson has a baby some day, it'll be an even quicker announcement. I actually see a pre-choreographed dance number, jazz hands, top hat and Mark Ballas included.
Back to Shannon. Little John Rocco ('s Modern Life)* Falconetti was born at 6:46pm on Wednesday, October 28th, weighing in at a healthy 7 lbs., 11oz.
Congratulations!
*If you get that reference, you get a gold star.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Twitter updates
Cassie Whitcomb being a super good sport, even though I'm sure she was hurting on the inside. Good on her putting team before self.
CassieWhitcomb Congrats to team USA! Great Job so far! Lets keep it up!!
Chellsie Memmel also throwing a shout out.
CMemmel Great job today girls!!!!! Good luck to the boys tomorrow!!!
Shawn Johnson, ignoring the fact that there is a major international gymnastics competition going on and dropping teasers that no one gives a rat's ass about in a lame attempt to divert attention back to herself. Seriously - The first Tweet went up right in the middle of qualification results coming out all over the place. The last five came all in a row, within minutes of each other. Post a BLOG and link us there, Shawn. Stop filling my Twitter page with your desperate pleas for validation.
ShawneyJ Best day ever & a dream come true!! U guys are going to have to wait a little bit to find out but trust me when I say it'll be worth it ;)
ShawneyJ Had a great time in NYC! Did Al Rokers morning show today 4 the USOC & IOC! So fun make sure 2 watch & look 4 the new Best Of Us Challenge!
ShawneyJ Contest closes on October 30 so you if want a chance to go to the Olympics like me!! Sign up and get going!! Would love to see u there <3>ShawneyJ Heres how it works! ALL KIDS go to www.mcdonalds.com/championkids and enter for your chance to go to the 2010 Vancouver Winter Games!
ShawneyJ Hahah may i just say @EvlGnetcXp has a very amusing @ShellGoIfYou contest going on!! haha been cracking up reading all of these!
ShawneyJ McDonalds is sending me along with 10 lucky kids to the 2010 Vancouver Games! For a chance... mcdonalds.com/champions<3>
CassieWhitcomb Congrats to team USA! Great Job so far! Lets keep it up!!
Chellsie Memmel also throwing a shout out.
CMemmel Great job today girls!!!!! Good luck to the boys tomorrow!!!
Shawn Johnson, ignoring the fact that there is a major international gymnastics competition going on and dropping teasers that no one gives a rat's ass about in a lame attempt to divert attention back to herself. Seriously - The first Tweet went up right in the middle of qualification results coming out all over the place. The last five came all in a row, within minutes of each other. Post a BLOG and link us there, Shawn. Stop filling my Twitter page with your desperate pleas for validation.
ShawneyJ Best day ever & a dream come true!! U guys are going to have to wait a little bit to find out but trust me when I say it'll be worth it ;)
ShawneyJ Had a great time in NYC! Did Al Rokers morning show today 4 the USOC & IOC! So fun make sure 2 watch & look 4 the new Best Of Us Challenge!
ShawneyJ Contest closes on October 30 so you if want a chance to go to the Olympics like me!! Sign up and get going!! Would love to see u there <3>ShawneyJ Heres how it works! ALL KIDS go to www.mcdonalds.com/championkids and enter for your chance to go to the 2010 Vancouver Winter Games!
ShawneyJ Hahah may i just say @EvlGnetcXp has a very amusing @ShellGoIfYou contest going on!! haha been cracking up reading all of these!
ShawneyJ McDonalds is sending me along with 10 lucky kids to the 2010 Vancouver Games! For a chance... mcdonalds.com/champions<3>
Monday, September 28, 2009
Shawn Johnson wants to make damn sure we all know...
...that she was invited to go on the Chicago 2016 Bid trip. It's crucial that no one think she was simply left out.
ShawneyJJust want to say good luck to the team going over to Europe for the 2016 bid! I was so bummed when I had to turn down the offer to go but...
ShawneyJI'm so excited for the ones going because it's going to be an experience of a lifetime :) Chicago... I'll keep my fingers crossed <3
Poor Shawn. Translation: "I'm still relevant! Gymnastics still loves me! You will all love me, too!"
You'd be right, Shawn. We do still love you, and we don't think you're irrelevant. Now get your ass back in the gym and give us some flippy-floppies. Stat.
ShawneyJJust want to say good luck to the team going over to Europe for the 2016 bid! I was so bummed when I had to turn down the offer to go but...
ShawneyJI'm so excited for the ones going because it's going to be an experience of a lifetime :) Chicago... I'll keep my fingers crossed <3
Poor Shawn. Translation: "I'm still relevant! Gymnastics still loves me! You will all love me, too!"
You'd be right, Shawn. We do still love you, and we don't think you're irrelevant. Now get your ass back in the gym and give us some flippy-floppies. Stat.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Only mildly gymnastics related...
...especially since we can't even be sure the girl in question even IS a gymnast anymore, but...
Why in the HELL does Shawn Johnson feel the need to put "haha" in almost all of her Tweets - none of which are even remotely funny? Okay, it's not just her - I have friends on Facebook who do this, too. They'll say things like, "Hey, how was your day haha mine was good!!" (don't forget the excessive use of exclamatory punctuation)
WTF.
Here are some Shawn samples, just since this afternoon:
ShawneyJDeja vu... Back in the studio dancing again!!! but this time with a new partner haha I'll send pics in a bit!!
ShawneyJHahaha were having a blast! I have officially gone from student to teacher and it's HARD!!!!
ShawneyJOH!! And my new partner is..... Corky Ballas!!!! Haha we are killing it today and just goofin off like crazy!
ShawneyJGot dropped off on set today my partner in crime has left me and sooooo feels a little weird no where to get ready no where to go haha
ShawneyJPosture Bar!!! Haha so totally should just sport this all day! What do u think? Is it the new "look"? http://twitpic.com/iuz2r
Before anyone asks, the answer is Yes - I do have so much time on my hands that crap like this irritates the hell out of me. And yes, I am bitter because this person has made her own decisions about how to spend her time rather than kowtowing to my preferences.
As for you, Miss ShawneyJ - get your little fanny back in the gym and give us a fancy new floor routine. We grow weary of your self-exploration and enjoyment of life outside of Chow's. The committee for deciding what does and does not suck has convened and has unanimously decided that your absence from the sport does, indeed, suck.
I'm only half kidding.
Why in the HELL does Shawn Johnson feel the need to put "haha" in almost all of her Tweets - none of which are even remotely funny? Okay, it's not just her - I have friends on Facebook who do this, too. They'll say things like, "Hey, how was your day haha mine was good!!" (don't forget the excessive use of exclamatory punctuation)
WTF.
Here are some Shawn samples, just since this afternoon:
ShawneyJDeja vu... Back in the studio dancing again!!! but this time with a new partner haha I'll send pics in a bit!!
ShawneyJHahaha were having a blast! I have officially gone from student to teacher and it's HARD!!!!
ShawneyJOH!! And my new partner is..... Corky Ballas!!!! Haha we are killing it today and just goofin off like crazy!
ShawneyJGot dropped off on set today my partner in crime has left me and sooooo feels a little weird no where to get ready no where to go haha
ShawneyJPosture Bar!!! Haha so totally should just sport this all day! What do u think? Is it the new "look"? http://twitpic.com/iuz2r
Before anyone asks, the answer is Yes - I do have so much time on my hands that crap like this irritates the hell out of me. And yes, I am bitter because this person has made her own decisions about how to spend her time rather than kowtowing to my preferences.
As for you, Miss ShawneyJ - get your little fanny back in the gym and give us a fancy new floor routine. We grow weary of your self-exploration and enjoyment of life outside of Chow's. The committee for deciding what does and does not suck has convened and has unanimously decided that your absence from the sport does, indeed, suck.
I'm only half kidding.
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